In the world of dating, it’s always the ones you want, and the ones who want you. And they’re never the same. We’re always chasing after the people who don’t want us, and running away from the ones who do. Which logically makes no sense. But does anything about relationships or matters of the heart ever make sense? Of course not.
HE SAID: Mandy thinks that guys and girls who are friends cannot have sex because it has the potential to screw up the friendship. When a guy hears that, he asks himself the question - “How did I screw this up so badly that I’m now just a friend with no chance of boning her?” Oh wait - did I just answer the question?
DB told me that there are several of you out there asking “Who the hell is Braski?” Well, first let me give a big FUCK YOU to all of you for not already knowing who I am. However, I do feel that it is very important for each of you to know exactly who you are dealing with when it comes to the Braski Says section of DB’s blog. I am not going to go on and on about my life, or give you any type of biography (even though if I did you would be amazed, and saddened, at how much cooler my life is than yours) I am just here to give you an idea of who you are dealing with.
That’s right - I’m wrapping this thing up and sailing off into the sunset. I’ve been doing it for one very successful year, in which I pulled down about $100 in appearance fees and spent about $300 on gas. If that doesn’t spell retirement, then your mother’s a whore.
Have you ever just randomly paused to be thankful for something that you normally take for granted? Like one day, you just wake up and say “holy shit, I have HANDS! This is amazing! I can pick stuff up, touch boobies and shake other hands. It’s so GREAT to have hands!”
Well in response to David’s hiring of jackasses blog I think the problem in any office is really that in corporate America we already do this all too often. I walk through the halls of my workplace thinking to myself “How did this person get a job? Why would anyone hire this individual to do anything outside of cleaning windows at a gas station? And moreover, how did this person become my boss?” So what I think we need in any office is an office linebacker.
When I look through job postings, it’s always about “10+ years experience in integrated management, business, finance, corporation, blow me, etc.” I wish the stuff that I’m good at was just as lucrative. But I’ve been hard pressed to locate a job posting that said “$150K salary for frequent masturbator capable of texting while driving at high speeds and reciting rap lyrics.”
1. He likely outweighs you by 100 pounds, but he can run faster than you, punch harder than you, and last longer than you - and if he can’t he’ll still beat your ass.
It’s backkkk! And if you enjoy reading stuff from me and Mandy, be sure to check out her blog at http://www.LoveYouLover.com
Mandy says: Last week I was watching the TODAY show (like a fucking soccer mom, shut up), and a woman named Lori Gottlieb came on to talk about why it’s okay to settle for “Mr. Good Enough.” Now, I’m not too sure how I feel about this. Settling for someone who is “good enough” might be an easy way to escape loneliness for ugly, middle-aged people with beer bellies, but it’s not acceptable for everyone else. I have a lot of extremely good looking, intelligent, funny, caring friends who seem so desperate to be loved that they are settling for these so-so people and calling it a day.
Do you ever pause and ask yourself, “Self, what the hell are you doing with your life?” Well I sure do. That’s because I suffer from “never content, always insecure, constantly searching for more” syndrome. Hence, I’m always wondering if I make enough money, if I’m charming or sincere enough, if my baldness really isn’t a big deal, and if the girls I like have Jungle Fever. Things like that. All in all, I’m insecure.