As the eloquent rapper Method Man once said, ‘nothing make a man feel better than a woman.’ Certainly the smell of a woman’s hair, the glow of her smile or her delightful figure were all at the top of Mr. Meth’s mind when he wrote that lyric. But that doesn’t mean we love everything that you bring to the table. Today’s blog? Five things we can definitely do without.

1.Over-Communication. How is it that you acted too cool to notice us and now it’s like we’re the only number in your phone? Go take a Yoga class, hangout with the girls or pick up a book. We like you – now take it down a notch.

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It’s so easy being a guy, isn’t it? No, it’s not. It’s awful. You’ve got all this pretty hair and a beautiful smile. We’ve got all of these pit stains and our pants don’t fit. And that’s not all. Check out this list of four other things that guys fear when they’re around women.

1. Making Enough Money – As women are working their way up the professional ranks, men are faced with a new hard reality: 56% of college grads under the age of 25 are either underemployed, or altogether unemployed. That’s people in general, but the new truth remains: The odds are split that she’ll make as much or more than you do. In generations past, it was taken for granted that a man would be the Don Draper of his household. Now, if a man is bold enough to approach a woman, he’ll also have to find a way to set his ego aside should he discover that she can afford a nicer car than him.

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In the summer of 2007, I was the precocious marketing coordinator for the School of Journalism and Mass Communication at Florida International University. My boss, the Dean, had just given me the keys to take a more active role in the school’s student club system.Since many of the clubs had a disconnect among them, I thought a great way to bring them together would be in a collective service project. I decided that we’d collect books and toys and donate them to Miami Children’s Hospital. A good start, right?

After a Google search revealed the proper place for my call, I dialed up the Community and Volunteer Resources Department. Call it serendipity, but I was inspired by what I was working on, so when I was asked whether or not I was interested in also becoming a volunteer, I said ‘sure, why not?’ And so it began. A few short weeks later, I was officially a volunteer at Radio Lollipop, a radio station that brings comfort and play to patients at Miami Children’s Hospital. Now? I’m hosting the 7th Annual Radio Lollipop ‘Night at the Improv’ to watch this one-time $4,000 event shatter a $100,000 ceiling – in grand fashion. It’s one of many powerful experiences that this program has given me and I don’t expect it to be the last. And here’s why.

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1. We’re Not Afraid of Commitment. 5 year car loans. 1 year gym contracts. 30 year mortgages. No problem. To put it bluntly, if a guy is sure about you, you’ll know it. If he’s not? Well, you’ll know that, too. Whether or not you accept it is a different story.

2. We’re Insecure, Too. For every eyebrow waxing or hair straightening session you endure to play the part of pretty, there’s a guy who’s fretting over the size of his gut or the depth of his receding hairline. We can’t mask our shortcomings with makeup, but we have plenty.

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(If you think I’m being crass, I’d like to tell you right out of the gate – I’m not making any of this up.) The novel that has women swooning these days is no longer a selection from the ‘Twilight’ series; it’s a New York Times #1 best-seller, S&M fiction porno-turned-love story called ’50 Shades of Grey.’ And for a minute there, I thought it was men and the media who were degrading women.

The story goes something like this. A 27-year-old guy meets a 21-year-0ld girl. She thinks he’s hot. He’s a sex fiend. She’s down with that. He asks her to sign a contract that gives him permission to make her a sex slave. (Uh, what?) She’s like yeah, cool. (Uh, what?) So he gags, spanks, whips and gags her with props like ice, rope, and tape. And she’s like ‘yeah, cool.’

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Today I “celebrate” the nine year anniversary (wow, it’s been that long) of a car accident that nearly claimed my life.

No matter how I lead up to this or what you read in my story, it’s going to seem like I’m being dramatic, but I’m pretty sure the story does that itself.  To say that night changed the course of my life would be an understatement.  It gave me the courage to leave for South Florida a year later and, eventually, put into me a fervor and appreciation for life that I try to hold onto daily.

I’ve copied and pasted a story that I wrote for a class several years ago about that night. For one, maybe you’ll read it and learn something significant that you didn’t know about me, and two, I rarely get personal on my blog and this is one of those rare instances.

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When you live in Rochester, NY in the Town of Greece, you have two obligations  – Spend your free time at T.C. Hooligan’s with other failed locals, and get a tattoo. So far, I’ve done one of those.

Was its meaning significant? Sure. It’s my father’s last name; my mother’s signature (so if you’re wondering what they thought of it, they basically made it themselves). And I can use it for intimidation purposes when it came to starting fights with other failed locals at T.C. Hooligan’s.

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Small boobs. Weird laugh. Nervous twitch. Poor style sense. You name it, someone’s dealt with it – or still is. And regardless of what your insecurities are, I’ll guarantee you have a few. We all do. But does knowing that we all have insecurities make a difference? Nope. We let them overpower us anyway.

Naturally, I bring this up now because I’m facing some powerful insecurities of my own at the moment; most of which deal with my current status as an entrepreneur/27 year old who moved back in with his parents. But whatever your insecurity is, plug it into your mind and then ask yourself this question – so what?

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Let’s face it. Girls complain about the poor selection of quality guys all the time. “Oh, he’s a jerk” or “I don’t know, he doesn’t ‘do it’ for me.” And frankly, I almost always have zero sympathy for them. I know there are plenty of ‘good guys’ out there who they aren’t paying any mind to, but they’re too self-absorbed or delusional to locate them. But then something like this comes along. Something that makes me wonder – you know what? Maybe these girls are onto something. After all, girls like my friend Anastasia (not her real name – no idea why she’d want to be called Anastasia instead) are being asked to pick a husband out of a group of guys who send text messages like this. Word-for-word, I might add:

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You can thank my self-proclaimed ‘manager’ for this one, because when moments of divine inspiration are in short supply, I’m at a loss for what to write. But she suggested I write about the confusion that many of us in the modern world will invariably face when it comes to dating, so I’ve decided to present you with the ‘Dating Phases.’ What’s the difference between talking and dating? What is talking anyway? Aren’t we all talking sometimes? And what about when you’re ‘talking’ but you’re not official, but you’re closer to official than you are to talking? Don’t worry – I’m a genius with this crap. Read on and all of your problems will be solved.

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