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Dear God – It’s me, David. I’ve been working on a new book lately and, well, a lot of it is about sex. Not like a smutty romance novel, but sex as a theme. I wanted to give you a heads up, but you’re God, so you probably knew that. I’m writing to you tonight because a lot of what I’m writing is putting me in a position to dust your book off my shelf […]

Dear God


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By David Berry: I don’t understand America in 2018. The  president of our great land throws his spray-tanned side of beef into a porn star for $130K of hush money, and half the country is like ‘meh.’ But then you’ve got a court session where a dad who attacks Larry Nassar – the guy with a now-confirmed 265 sexual assault victims/accusers – and what do we do? Pin him down and arrest him. “Well, you can’t just whoop a guy’s ass in […]

Let That Dad Kick Larry Nassar’s Ass and Put it ...


By David Berry: If you’re a fan of some wordplay, you’ll love today’s – I mean, toDave’s – post. It’s packed with some hot news, or rather, my interpretation of the news. It’s a new thing I’m trying for 2018, much in the way today’s college kids experiment with underage drinking and having a good ole’ fashioned knee slapper with the neo-Nazis. Sex Robots. Let’s dive right in. I don’t know where you fall on a scale of 1-to-Jeffrey Dahmer in […]

ToDave in News



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By David Berry: If you’re on the other side of your laptop with an attitude like mine, scrolling through your Facebook Newsfeed saying “let these assholes eat their Tide Pods so natural selection can finish its job,” then you’re going to find a few treats in this post. I’m not pissed off, but I’ve got a lot on my mind. Let’s call it a surplus of off-beat opinions that don’t have an outlet in my professional life or when […]

Things That Are Already on My Nerves in 2018


By David Berry: (Note: This is a small part of a bigger project you’ll see coming soon. So, eat your heart out) After sixth grade, I didn’t have a girlfriend again until I was a sophomore. But once I found her, I felt like the baddest mother fucker in the school (okay, that’s not something I would’ve said then, but in hindsight, re-assuming my naïve teenage arrogance, that’s probably how I felt). Her name was […]

My First Kiss


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By David Berry: A few weeks ago, I met a man named Paul just outside of my boxing gym at 19th and NW Miami Court. If you missed my Facebook post/GoFundMe page about that, you can read about it here. The past couple of weeks since then have been a whirlwind of highs and lows, frustration and joy. First, the bad news. Paul has been hospitalized twice with various ailments, which are related to his blood pressure and a propensity […]

Three Sides of a Good Deed



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By David Berry: Las Vegas doesn’t need your thoughts today. Las Vegas doesn’t need your prayers. And frankly, God himself is probably at his wit’s end with you dimwitted ass-hats who send prayers out of one side of your mouth, and then say that there’s nothing to be done about it out of the other. You want to know when thoughts and prayers were acceptable? When this bullshit, lone-wolf shooter’s mentality was a statistical anomaly; when the 1999 Columbine shootings […]

God Has Had It With Your Gun Prayers


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I’m ditching an introduction today. If you’re offended by NFL players kneeling during the national anthem as an act of silent protest of police brutality against black people in the United States, then I can only assume: A) You’re a racist. This is the – surprisingly – only defensible argument. That you’re an unapologetic, call-it-like-I-see-it racist. Black people bother you, you think Lil Uzi Vert is a cultural abomination (actually, you wouldn’t be wrong on that one), […]

3 Dumbasses Who Are Offended by NFL Anthem Protests


By David Berry: This week, the KKK, white supremacists and Robert E. Lee have dominated the headlines of every news publication in the United States. Grand Wizards are being quoted in mass media, and no, there isn’t another Harry Potter movie coming to theaters next week, you dreamers.   Can we be real about this for a minute? Let’s not pretend because a half-black guy was president that we were naive enough to think we lived in a […]

Statues, White Supremacy & Wizard Games



By David Berry: A few days ago, two or three girls who just got jobs at Buzzfeed after graduating with 3.1 GPAs from a state school with “great frats,” got together for lunch in the company kitchen to “make Internet.” One of them, kissy-faced Morgan Murrell, said something like “Okay, seriously this is giving me life. The #goodvibes are literally everywhere. Have you even seen this guy and his viral post about his wife and her curves? Lortttttt hallelujah, plus that TedTalk! My ovaries […]

Guy Reverse-Objectifies His Wife to Appear Like an Honorable Feminist, ...