Since the 1st one got so much feedback, I think I may have finally found something that will get you thinking and talking. That’s why I’m adding a 2nd part to it.
Most of the response was positive; cool. However, if it was really just as simple as saying what you’re looking for, then I’d have been in a relationship a long time ago, just as many of you probably would, too.
One thing that needs to disappear if we’re ever going to find meaningful relationships is the double standard that comes with judging people based on past hook-ups. Guys: girls are expected to swallow their pride and accept yours, so stop acting like she’s never seen a dick before.
The reason I bring this up is because it brings light to a greater issue, and that is the ridiculous expectations we put in our heads about the kind of person we want to date. Think of all the nasty, dirty shit that you’ve done and start asking yourself who would want to date YOU.
The point is that no one is perfect, and once you stop expecting the world of someone, they might actually give it to you. Not only is accepting someone as they are a good quality to possess, but it’s also extremely conducive to finding a good relationship.
Does that mean lowering your standards? No. It means don’t worry about the details. Details are going to exist whether or not you pay attention to them. Instead, focus on the qualities that are most important to you: her values, her personality and her sweet ass. If she’s got those, then you should consider letting some of her past transgressions slide. Our past is our past for a reason.
Now I’ll move back to some of what I spoke about yesterday; the qualities that are sexy and attractive in a girl.
Some may call it chauvinism but I don’t give a shit about labeling things. It is what it is: guys love girls who cook for them. Ever heard “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach?” Abso-fuckin-lutely.
And that’s it on that one. No more details. But guys, atleast do the dishes if she cooks you a killer steak.
Another thing we look for in girls: sincerity. Typical gender roles designate the “it’s the thought that counts” burden gets placed on guys, but it’s 2007 and it goes both ways. Whether or not we’ll admit it, we like sappy bullshit, too, if it’s sincere.
I want a girl who will, out of the blue, write me a well-thought-out card that speaks on how much she appreciates me. Did we give you a screaming orgasm the other night? Did you really appreciate the un-solicited back massage you got the other night? Let us know you appreciated it!
Which brings me to my final point (for today).
Communication. In friendships, we tell each other everything. But that’s not always the case in relationships.
Communication is obviously most important in the bedroom, when you’re interested in seeing her give you head while doing a handstand in a French maid costume. But she won’t know that’s what you want unless you tell her.
Call me crazy, but communication is important in other areas, too. Like how you wish you could just have Sundays to yourself to watch football with your friends. Tell her. Chances are she wouldn’t mind some time away of her own.
Lack of communication is the number one killer of relationships. Instead of handling simple issues when they arise, we let them linger until they manifest themselves in one angry outburst that leads to a breakup.
Speak your mind, be quick to forgive and experiment in bed. Get your head around those ideas and I think we’ll all be okay.