The Green Scare

I don’t know about you, but I’m a little skeptical about everyone just racing their asses off to “Go Green.” Let’s just slowwwww the fuck down for a second.  Usually, when someone plans on starting a big movement or revolution, they plan shit out.  This is our cause, this is what we’ve gotta do, this is a timeline for it, this is who we need to help, etc.   But it’s like I woke up one day and everyone was soil-screwing mother earth.

Isn’t this all a little rash?  Who was in charge of planning this?  And doesn’t this remind you all of something that happened not too long ago in history…when Hitler was like “hey Germany, let’s start slaughtering Jews”?  No one asked questions, and look what happened!

And I’m like, hey, lets not all forget the lessons we learned as kids:  just because someone else does it doesn’t mean you should do it.  Oh, so if Bobby jumps off the bridge, are you gonna jump off the bridge, too? NOT THIS TIME, WORLD!  I’m holding onto the strong moral principles that I learned as a child, and I won’t be a part of your conspiracy theories.  This is one lemming who won’t be following you off the bridge anytime soon.

I for one, love wasting paper and precious resources.  I’m at work right now taking my lunch break, but I turned the A/C down before I left my apartment so that the shit will be ice cold when I get home.  And I thought about closing the refridgerator door, too, but fuck it.

In fact, when work is over, I could probably just drive straight home…but that’s too efficient.  I’d much rather take the scenic route, enjoy the beautiful landscapes of Miami, and burn more gasoline. Mmmmmm, I love the smell of wasted CO2.  Don’t you?

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