The bread and butter of iamdavidberry.com, once upon a time, was the verbal diarrhea that came from my numerous rants. I like to think that I’ve matured beyond most of the nonsense of those days, but the truth is I’ve just learned to filter more of it. That’s not mature of me; it’s dishonest. So today, I’m telling the truth. In no particular order…
- All selfie’s are for ego stroking. They are not for showing people your hairstyle, sunglasses, lip gloss, cool new shirt, etc. And that’s FINE! But please stop telling everyone it’s for any of those reasons. You want someone to look at you and tell you that you look good. Just say so.
- Your political views were stupid in November and they’re still stupid now.
- Oh, you’re bored? You hate that it’s still two full days before Friday? Your doggie went poopie? Stop.
- Runners and walkers should follow traffic patterns. And if they don’t, they deserve to get hit.
- We’re going to have to pay for Facebook if we don’t repost this? Kids will die from cancer if I don’t ‘Like’ your status? I can’t believe you finished public school.
- If you see “I’m so over it” or “OMG, I’m so worried about getting the results on this blood test” on your newsfeed, or something like it, don’t ask the person what they’re referring to. It was an attention grab and you just fell for it. What they need is a hug.
- All of the fluffy ‘I love my girlfriend’ crap. Go home, make her some dinner, toss on ‘The Notebook’ and consider how amazing your relationship would really be if it didn’t need the meaningless ‘like’ support of your Internet friends.
- The faux-world changers. I have a theory that every time you publicly boast about a good deed, the universe takes it away from you and slaps you for using it as a way to boost your ego.
Deep breath. Sigh. And I’ll see you tomorrow.
David Berry is a Miami-based copywriter who has delivered writing solutions for a wide set of clients with a diverse range of needs. From books (fiction and non-fiction) to blogs, feature stories and everything else in between, he’s written for restaurants and retail clients, hotel chains, cosmetics companies, universities and more, as well as magazines, Fortune 500 companies and numerous entrepreneurs.
Berry has an MBA from Florida International University and draws passion for his craft from a wide base of interests, as he’s also a NASM certified personal trainer, former stand-up comedian, and volunteer, having won Miami Children’s Hospital’s 2011 Volunteer of the Year award while raising more than $100,000 for the hospital’s Radio Lollipop program.