As recently as three or so years ago, the notion that I could date a mom still had an American Pie mental image attached to it. The assumption being, of course, that getting with a mom meant getting with a friend’s mom, which was more of a novelty than an actual option. (You’re safe, guys.)
That is, until MILFs became part of a new demographic – late 20s, early 30s divorcees with a kid or three in tote and a genuine interest in dating someone her age. You know, like me.
A little over a year ago, during the five months I lived back in New York, a girl from my circle of friends told me she had a girl she’d wanted me to meet. And she’d be ‘perfect’ for me, this friend said. Great family, great sense of humor, very attractive, etc.
Then, this friend told me that the girl had a three-year-old son.
‘No thanks,’ I replied.
From there, I was criticized for being closed minded. She said there’s a good chance that at my age (feels like an old thing to say even as I type it) that a girl – okay, a woman – that I’m interested in might already be a mother. And that I’d just have to deal with it and stop limiting myself.
Well, to hell with that. I have a hard time feeding and walking my dog. Inheriting a girlfriend and a child is not what I’m after.
But with that said, not everyone is as closed minded and incapable as I am. A friend of mine, who normally thinks just like I do, recently fell hard for a girl with three kids.
If you ask most guys, they probably wouldn’t choose a woman with kids – although that could change as they get older – but in my friend’s case, his heart wouldn’t let him steer clear of this particular girl. Despite his best efforts to get in his own way, he’s coming to grips with the fact that this is the girl he wants.
And he battled with it. Still does. And hell – if they actually get a relationship off the ground, he’ll probably always battle with it.
What’s my point? The fact of the matter is that in each passing year, the sheer volume of baggage that we’re likely to encounter when dating is only going to grow. And when it comes to a woman with kids, her ‘baggage’ (sorry, kids) is as obvious as can be. She has living, breathing, pooping proof of it.
So not only are our options dwindling – I’ve seen about five new engagements on Facebook this week – but the options that are available may not be the cookie cutter ideals we had in mind when we were younger.
Are we prepared to deal with that? Like, really prepared to deal with that?
I’m not. Are you?