By David Berry: Everyone’s pissed off. Trump isn’t gonna let the press secretary speak anymore – what a fool! Hillary came back and said it’s Comey’s fault she’s not president – I want to see those emails! Comey got fired and he was investigating Trump – impeach Trump! Did you see that local news story about the guy and the dog and the baby and the thing? I would never! Lock him up. That guy killed how many people and they’re not giving him the death penalty? Give me the needle – I’ll do it with pleasure. I can’t believe they fat shamed that famous, rich actress – how dare they!
Have I about covered it? Your Facebook newsfeed, or the comments section on whatever website you’re tracking these days? Everyone is offended. Oh man are they pissed!
But I want to ask these people – are you actually offended? Or are you just so incapable of a unique, self-generated thought that you think you’re offended?
Increasingly, we are part of an era in which we’ve been told to fall on one side of an issue; every issue. Abortion? No logical dialogue can be had. You either want to murder children or force women to throw themselves down empty stairwells. Gay marriage? If you support it, you hate Jesus, the church and all that each stands for. Donald Trump? If you support him, you’re a racist, homophobic, simple-minded ass bag, or you’re a Liberal snowflake commie who hates hard work, wants to hand over every job to a Mexican and supports ISIS.
You’re not offended; you’re an attention whore. You don’t want ‘change,’ you want likes, comments and shock-faced emojis. Plus, acting offended is a great way to avoid being intelligent about, well, anything. Someone says something smart and you don’t know if they’re right or wrong, so you just yell and shout ‘trigger’ words. You’ve noticed that, right? The stupider, less educated someone is on a topic, the easier it is to offend them? That’s because the feeling of anger that comes with their offense is all that they have to hang on to. Smart people are harder to offend because they just know better – and truly smart people aren’t engaging dumbasses in tit-for-tats in the comments section of Rochester NY’s WHAM 13 posts (yeah, I’m talking about myself. I’m that dumbass.)
George Carlin once said “I like to piss off any group that take’s itself a little bit too seriously. And it does not take a lot of imagination to piss off a feminist. All you gotta do is run into NOW headquarters or Ms. Magazine and say,”hey, which one of you cute little cupcakes wants to come home and cook me a nice meal and give me a blowjob!”
And he’s right. Insert whatever other ‘trigger’ language there is for a group on either side of the political spectrum, and you’ll piss them off too. Why? Because most people only know three or four things about their own argument, and the opposing argument, and when they have no other source of intelligence from which to rely, well, the rage starts.
“The man who lies to himself can be more easily offended than anyone else. You know it is sometimes very pleasant to take offense, isn’t it? A man may know that nobody has insulted him, but that he has invented the insult for himself, has lied and exaggerated to make it picturesque, has caught at a word and made a mountain out of a molehill–he knows that himself, yet he will be the first to take offense, and will revel in his resentment till he feels great pleasure in it.”
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov
And that pisses me off.