Dating Is Not Complicated
Author: davidberry | Filed under: 10 Phases of Dating, Columns, Just Blogs
“He asked for my number and he’s cute, but I don’t know! I had that ex a year ago and what if this guy is totally into himself like the last one?” – HER
“It’s tough, man. I mean, I’d like to get with a good girl. And she’s a good girl and all, but what if there’s something better? And besides, I’m having a lot of fun just doing my own thing right now.” – HIM
Here’s a revelation – ‘dating’ is not complicated. It can’t be, because it’s a social construct, meaning we made it that way. That means we’re complicated. Why? Because we think we’re the only ones who’ve ever been through this whole dating thing before.
This isn’t to be crass or insensitive – okay, maybe it is. But guess what? You’re not the first person to get broken up with. You’re not the first person to get cheated on. A lot of people have exes. And despite your best wishes to hide behind stereotypes, not every girl is crazy and not every guy is only chasing you for sex.
Even so, each of those things is only part of the problem. The other part? You need to stop thinking that you’re the only fish in the ocean. Treating yourself like you’re the only one dealing with emotional/dating issues drives a wedge deeper between you and the opposite sex that you allege to have an interest in being with. So when you throw it in a girl’s face that ‘all women are crazy’ or throw it in a guy’s face that ‘all men are the same,’ I hope they leave you in the dust for one of the other 3.5 billion people from your gender.
What’s so intimidating about going on a date or two, anyway? We spend our days posting half-naked pictures of ourselves, Tweeting our self-pity and Instagram-ing our vanity, but a warm meal in a public place with someone of the opposite sex is somehow too much of a risk?
Get over yourself. And I mean that in the sweetest of ways. It’ll open you up to a much bigger world of possibilities than you knew existed. (Now take your own advice, David…)
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David Berry is a Miami-based copywriter who has delivered writing solutions for a wide set of clients with a diverse range of needs. From books (fiction and non-fiction) to blogs, feature stories and everything else in between, he’s written for restaurants and retail clients, hotel chains, cosmetics companies, universities and more, as well as magazines, Fortune 500 companies and numerous entrepreneurs.
Berry has an MBA from Florida International University and draws passion for his craft from a wide base of interests, as he’s also a NASM certified personal trainer, former stand-up comedian, and volunteer, having won Miami Children’s Hospital’s 2011 Volunteer of the Year award while raising more than $100,000 for the hospital’s Radio Lollipop program.
Get in touch with him on Facebook and Twitter, or email him at iamdavidberry@yahoo.com.
Lol that last line… I find myself saying this after I finish almost every blog post I write
For me Dave, is the financial part. A decent meal for two in Miami won’t be less than $60. ($90 minimum if there’s wine).
So serial dating is frustrating to me, not for the reasons you state above, but because 5 dates with 5 different people could be half a mortgage payment. Especially if all the girls are crazy.
Great piece.
To comment on Jaime’s – I think you are ABSOLUTELY right! I don’t think it’s fair, especially if she turns out to be a nutzo! I think that if she’s a quality girl, that going on a hike (me me me) or biking is a more creative date anyway
Gracie, nutzo is a quality, too
And Jaime, I’d say you could consider it an investment in your future happiness. And btw, coffee dates are cheaper.
Pathetic if you need to invest in your FUTURE happiness. How about you just be happy THEN perhaps you’ll attract the right person