1.  He likely outweighs you by 100 pounds, but he can run faster than you, punch harder than you, and last longer than you - and if he can’t he’ll still beat your ass.

2.  He’s accomplished more in 25 years than you will accomplish in your entire life.  In fact, he could’ve said that 6 years ago and it would still be true.

3.  You think scars are cool? His are bigger AND cooler.  And there’s a better story behind each of his.  Take for example, the cigarette burn marks all over his arm because someone questioned his toughness and he burned himself just to prove a point.

4.  He’s experienced job loss, which makes him just like 9% of Americans right now - except he was let go from his job protecting the doors of South Beach’s most well-known club because he was too violent - ask any other bouncer if they can say that.

5.  I will piss gold before he ever loses a fight.  You don’t know anyone who throws a faster, harder straight right hand than Braski.  And I’m talking on TV, in prison, in the streets - anywhere.  “Oh whatever.  I know this one guy who would probably beat him in a fight.” 

Famous last words, rookie.  If people knew the damage that could come from the hands of Braski, he’d have never been in a fight to begin with.  But time and time again, the egos of lesser men lead them directly into harm’s way - and with scars, bruises and broken bones as memoirs of their misguided bravery.

6.  He will run circles around you in a debate about governmental policy and ethics.

7.  Will drinking beer fast make him rich?  Probably not.  But just because it won’t make him wealthy doesn’t mean it’s not the most amazing talent in all the world.  And I’m sure you’re thinking to yourself “well I know a guy who drinks beer pretty fast.” No you don’t.  If you think that, then you don’t know Braski and neither does your amateur friend.

8.  Braski has a “drink quota.”  We all do, for that matter - the threshold which leads you to do stupid things once its crossed.  But the difference between your “drink quota” and Braski’s is a criminal record, blood stains and hilarious stories that make yours look like a Chuck E Cheese birthday party.

9.  You may have a friend who is one of the following:  really funny, really drunk, really strong, blah blah blah.  But you don’t have a friend who is all of those things at the same time all the time.  But I do - his name is Braski.

10.  I just gave you nine reasons.  If you need a tenth one because you’re doubting his excellence, then my only wish for you is the opportunity to witness it with your own eyes. 

Or fall victim to his brutality and intellectual superiority.