Recently, I’ve decided to try and get myself back into the dating world.  And if you’re curious as to how that deviates from what I was doing before, allow me to enlighten you.  For a while - I’d say, 8 to 9 months or so - I was only putting in the effort necessary to get a girl to do naughty things with me.  And as most people will tell you, that becomes quite unfulfilling after a while.  But then you get that primal urge in your loins again and you forget about how unfulfilling a meaningless sexual encounter is until you’re done doing it again.  But I digress.

In my new dating endeavors, which encompass the last 6 weeks, I’ve asked three girls out on dates.  Real dates, too.  Not “how about we get drunk and screw” dates.  And for the sake of simplicity, let’s say a goodnight kiss or a second date would qualify as a successful date.  And thus far, my success rate is a whopping 0.5/3, or 16.7%. 

But in my rejection, I realized that in our day and age, there are more ways than ever for a guy to have his ego shattered by anyone with a vagina.  Think about it.  Girl #2 (who told her friend she was attracted to me) spoke to me on the phone, referred me to her Facebook, then rejected me via direct message, then deleted me as a Facebook friend.  Girl #3 saw me in person, then rejected me by not responding to a phone call.  Girl #1 never really rejected me, but had she done so, she probably could’ve done so via Twitter or YouTube video.

Getting a date isn’t as easy as it used to be.  Back in the good ‘ole days, you could ask a girl for her number, write it on some notebook paper, then call her on your house phone.  Now you’re competing with her Facebook friends, guys who can text her, BBM her, Twitter her, etc.  Then when you consider that she’s probably using a sex toy that doubles as a tool to hang drywall, you start to wonder - how in the world can a guy stick out anymore?!

I’ll tell you how - The calendar function on Microsoft Outlook, THAT’S how!  If you’re unfamiliar with it, let me enlighten you as to how easy it is.

If you want to make an appointment with someone and have it show up in their calendar as well as yours, all you have to do is send them an e-mail from your calendar and fill in the time and date.  Then, ‘SHAZAM!’  You’re in that person’s calendar!

And there are a number of ways this can make you look good.  I’ve selected 5.

1.  You’re not afraid to commit.  There it is in black and white - a time and a date that you’re willing to commit to.

2.  You’re mature.  Leave the Facebook IMs to the children and peasants.  Adults use Microsoft Outlook.

3.  When she sees that time in her schedule carved out, she’ll be visually reminded of how damn awesome you are for being different.

4.  She doesn’t have to respond with “what time?” “where?” “what should I wear?”  You can put the answer to all of those questions in one simple message.  And women love a man who takes control.

5.  If date #1 goes well, then you can start getting frisky with it.  Send her multiple appointments in succession.  For example - 7:00 PM Drinks.  8:00 PM My Place.  8:15 PM Sexy time.  8:16 PM Sexy time is over.

It’s fool proof.  I think my 16.7% dating success rate proves that.