What does AWOL mean?  What does RSVP mean?  I bet you use this crap all the time and don’t even know what you’re saying!  And for the record, I didn’t know what “AWOL” was until I Googled it.  Once I did, though, I came away with the only logical conclusion - the acronym makes no sense.  “Away Without Leave”? Does this mean you left without ever actually leaving?  In which case, you never went AWOL to begin with.  You just…stayed there.

Oh, and RSVP means “Répondez s’il vous plaît,” which is French and the French are soft and sucky at men’s Olympic swimming.  I bet next time you’ll make sure you know what you’re saying before you sound French and stupid.

By the way, contrary to what you may be hearing on the radio, Trey Songz did NOT invent sex.  Sex was created by God to be enjoyed by a man and a woman in the holy confines of marriage.  Trey Songz has been around for what, three years tops?  Sorry to burst your bubble, Mr. Songz, but people have been doing each other for way more than three years.  Try FOREVER years.

You want to know how sex was created, Mr. Songz?  THIS is how.  Once God created Eve, Adam thought “well, she certainly looks different than I do. And I suspect that it would be nice to find out how different her body feels from mine.”  Right?  Nothing sexual at this point, just curiosity.  So he went to sleep like usual that night (presumably in the nude, since Eve hadn’t yet tempted him into eating the fruit, so he felt no guilt for showing off his package.  But I digress.)

But then Adam woke up with morning wood, as all men do, and thought “wait a second.  She’s got something that goes in, and I’ve got something that goes out.  So maybe, just maybe, we can see if this thing goes in and out.”  And BOOM - sex was invented.

Adam is somewhere in heaven right now, frowning down on Mr. Songz, and saying “GOD created sex.  And I was the first one to have it, Mr. Songz.  And it was exquisite and wonderful, as I’m sure you’ve figured out by now.  But you need to cut it out with this blasphemy that you created it.  No one believes you.”

Class dismissed.  Have a great weekend!