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How different does my life look now than it did on January 1, 2012? For starters, I’m no longer sleeping on a mound of blankets and foam pads. That mound, of course, could be found on the floor of my high school bedroom. In my grandparent’s house. In Rochester, NY. I’m not there anymore, either. Did I mention I was making about $500 a month? Stories of change start this way, though, and I’m proud to […]

2012 – The Year That Changed My Life


I got this email from a friend the other day: “Some friends and I were discussing whether love is something that is supposed to just flow and come together easily, or do couples sometimes have to “fight” for it? (I’m talking about when people initially get together, not after being a relationship.) Basically I guess the question is: is love supposed to just ‘work’?”

Baby, Sometimes Love Don’t Come Easy


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I had an awesome chat today with a San Francisco dating coach, and close friend, Sarena Bahad, and she presented me with perhaps the most retro-progressive (a new term that I just created) idea for dating that I’ve heard in a long time. She and I remain in agreement that there are 10 phases of dating (phew, the book is still alive), but the idea she presented me with would essentially eliminate six of them; pretty much […]

4 Phases of Dating?



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I have no interest in ‘leading in’ today. The title of the blog says it all. Enjoy and add to the list. “My ex is crazy” means “I’m not over my ex.” Who cares about whether your ex is crazy or not? If you’re over them, their craziness doesn’t concern you. Unless it does. In which case, you might still be crazy about your ex. “Something came up” means “Something more important came up.” And it wasn’t you. […]

Decoding 7 Ways You Were Rejected


“You told her we were dating?” said Allison, with a dose of incredulity. Her dark brown eyes darted at me. “Well we kind of are, aren’t we?” I replied sheepishly. I hadn’t considered that a passing comment to a mutual friend was about to undo our six week relationship, but there we were. “No, we’re not. I mean, we’ve gone on dates and we hangout, but we’re not dating,” Allison continued. At this point, I […]

10 Phases of Dating – A Sneak Preview


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Once upon a time, I had a close friend give me some advice that, at the time, resonated loud and clear with me. It’s also stuck with me since then. The message was this – if you believe in fate and ‘finding the one,’ then you need to go into every relationship scenario with expecations that match your ideals. That means that if you date 100 people, you should expect that 99 of them will fail. Pessimistic? That […]

Giving and Taking Rejection



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A BUFFET OF SEXUAL STATISTICS: At least 50 percent of sexually active men and women will have the HPV infection at some point in their life. Between adults aged 20 to 59, women have had an average of 4 sex partners; men an average of 7. The average erect penis is 5 to 7 inches long; 4 to 6 inches in circumference. 66 percent of folks have had a ‘friend with benefits.’ 29 percent of […]

Sex – Part 1 of ?


Text messaging did an interesting thing to relationships in the early 2000s. It took a lot of the guess work – and terror – out of pre-dating conversation and strapped it with training wheels. But before that? In the good ole’ days – the ’90s – people actually had to dial the phone and – gasp – carry on a conversation in the midst of their dating journey. Sound awful? It was worse in the ’80s. Back […]

A Dummy’s Guide to Modern Dating & Texting Etiquette


In March 2012, a friend of mine suggested that I write about the confusion that many of us in the ‘modern’ world (whatever that means) will invariably face when it comes to dating. So at her request, I decided to create this post, called the ’10 Phases of Dating.’ Since then, I’ve been intrigued by the response I’ve gotten. It’s been overwhelming. Everyone, it seems – single or taken – loves to talk about dating. […]

10 Phases of Dating



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In March 2012, a friend of mine suggested that I write about the confusion that many of us in the ‘modern’ world (whatever that means) will invariably face when it comes to dating. So at her request, I decided to create this post, called the ’10 Phases of Dating.’ Since then, I’ve been intrigued by the response I’ve gotten. It’s been overwhelming. Everyone, it seems – single or taken – loves to talk about dating. They love to analyze it, […]

10 Phases of Dating